When Discipline Becomes Self-Love: A December Conversation with Maddy on Finding Your Way Back to Movement

December has a way of asking us to pause and reflect on where we've been, what we've overcome, and who we're becoming. There's something about the end of a year that invites honesty, groundedness, and a deeper look at the foundations we're building for ourselves.

I met Maddy at Honey and Co, the studio where I fell in love with Pilates and decided to become an instructor myself. From the moment I experienced her class, I knew she was different. Here was a studio manager, an incredible instructor, a Pilates educator, and an extraordinary human being who always seemed to be smiling even when, as I'd later learn, life was throwing everything at her at once.

What struck me most about Maddy was her strength not just physical, but the kind that comes from knowing exactly what you want and being respectful of your own journey to get there. She's the kind of woman who shows up, does the work, and somehow makes you feel like you can do the same.

As we close out another year, I wanted to sit down with Maddy and have an honest conversation about the messy, beautiful reality of juggling it all career, motherhood, partnership, health, and the constant pursuit of showing up for yourself when life gets overwhelming.

Let's start with your story. What initially sparked your passion for Pilates, and what keeps that passion alive for you today?

I used to be a dance. I started at three years old and went all the way through to classical ballet with a scholarship. I did that right up until high school, but unfortunately with the pressures of dancing and the body expectations for young girls at that time, it wasn't the healthiest environment. I actually had a mental health breakdown - a bit of a Black Swan moment, if you've seen that film.

I had to quit dancing altogether, and that was like the biggest breakup of my life. I don't think I've ever had such heartbreak as choosing not to dance anymore. Alongside that, I had injuries and there was just so much going on. I pretty much stopped any sort of movement for the next ten years, until I was in my late twenties.

My wife and I were trying for our second child, and it was my turn to go through IVF. I had a really bad reaction to the medication. I was quite unwell, actually quite dangerously unwell. I had a bit of a breakdown again and I was like, "I want to move my body. I want to feel better. I want to feel stronger." But I didn't enjoy the gym or gym classes.

I found this local Pilates studio because I was looking for something. I'd done mat Pilates before because it's similar to the training you do in classical ballet, and I'd enjoyed it, so I thought I'd give it a go. I literally went to one class and I was hooked. I signed up for a membership to go five days a week, and within two months I was asking about how I could get my certificate in instruction.

I'd only been doing it for two or three months when I started my certificate, and it's been the best decision of my entire life. It really saved me, to be honest. Moving my body again saved me from a very dark place. That's my passion, and it hasn't changed since.

As a Pilates instructor, manager, and mum, how do you maintain your motivation and energy? How do you prevent burnout?

This is a hard question, and I feel like it would be an injustice to other women in my position if I wasn't completely honest. I'm definitely not juggling and managing it all perfectly not even close.

I find the word "motivation" is a bit of a trap. People rely on motivation from themselves or things around them, but motivation isn't what gives us longevity with anything. I think discipline is what should be focused on more. Discipline in routine, discipline in habits, whatever it is.

I'm not motivated every day. I absolutely love my job, and that's a big driving factor. The fact that I enjoy what I do. But most times, it is a struggle. I've got kids to look after, a partner, friendships, all of the above.

For a long time I was very disciplined. I would literally stay up until midnight most nights to do my admin work because I didn't want to take time away from being with my kids when they were awake. Everybody wants to have the perfect balance, but nothing is ever going to be balanced. You're never going to put 100% into every single aspect of your life.

Sometimes if I'm putting everything into work and it's absolutely flourishing, something else has to fall behind and that could be being a good parent, being present enough for my kids. When I'm really present as a mum and feel like I'm acing mum life, my work suffers, or my friendships take a hit.

My friendships have been a big casualty since I've been finding my place as an adult, a parent, and trying to be a career woman. But the ones who understand me most have stuck around. It's been like a natural selection. They understand that I'm not always present, but I am there. I am cheering for everybody. Right now, my focus is on my kids and my work first and foremost.

In saying that, I am a bit of a workaholic, so sometimes I push myself so much that I burn out. I actually took two weeks of stress leave in September. It was just out of the blue. I literally reached my limit. I'd had a lot of factors in my personal life contributing, as well as work pressure, and it was the first time I'd ever taken stress leave.

What are some of the biggest challenges you've faced as a Pilates instructor, and how have you overcome them?

The hardest thing for me was when I first became an instructor the image of what a Pilates instructor was. It's definitely changed substantially in the last five years, and I think that's incredible. I had such a beautiful work crew and peers I studied with, but I definitely felt that because I wasn't super lean and tiny, new clients or people at fitness expos possibly questioned my abilities until I actually got them moving.

I worked really hard to get strong, but even now, I'm not ripped with muscles or anything. I want to be that example that you can eat healthy, be healthy, encourage healthy bodies and minds, but you don't have to look a certain way to be healthy or strong.

I found it really hard because I wanted to serve my clients and members to the best of my abilities, and I realised how much was missing from my knowledge and learning. Especially working alongside other health professionals like exercise physiologists, other PTs, physios. I wanted to have a more educated approach with my teaching, so I focused so hard on professional development. I did so much the second I was qualified and started instructing.

I've never thought my cup is full as far as how much I know. That's been a struggle but also a good push and determination to get better every year.

How do you set and adjust your goals throughout the year, and how do you handle it when you don't meet them?

To be honest the whole "New Year, new me" thing doesn't work for me. Instead, I focus on adding small habits and changes into my everyday routine. If I try to aim too high, it just overwhelms me, especially with the load of life, and I end up failing worse than if I'd set small goals.

Recently we had to move house right before Christmas. It was so stressful in the middle of work, health problems, everything. We literally had to move our whole house, kids, and property, so we dropped the ball on meal prepping and eating healthy.

I focused on at least one meal being prepped - breakfast every day. When we had to eat out because we were in the middle of furniture trucks, we'd get a Subway salad over McDonald's, or we'd go to a restaurant and get nice, hearty food, pasta or Asian food, things that are wholesome.

With work, even if I've got a lot on like at the moment with my teacher training for the Pilates League. I'll set even the smallest thing: one hour or half an hour per day. When my youngest has some downtime, rather than scrolling my phone, I'll jump online and go through my courses.

I slowly add those habits over time, and they become a normal routine. Then I'll add onto that like listening to podcasts whenever I get a chance to drive. I'm keeping my brain moving. When I hit a wall or a few days get busy, or everyone gets sick and I'm just picking at the leftovers from my daughter's lunch, I'll be like, "Okay, start again." Whatever is lacking, I'll start again.

How do you balance your professional responsibilities with your personal life? What strategies help you stay grounded?

A lot of your success as a person is your transparency and communication with those around you. Rachel and Isaac the owners of the Pilates League and CJ at Honey and Co, my manager at work, I'm really open with them. I check in, send updates about what's going on for me, where I'm at, and the expectations I have for myself.

I like to keep myself accountable. If I feel like there's something I cannot do to my own standard, I'll tell them. I'll say, "Look, I know I'm not as reliable right now and I understand that. This is what needs to be done, but at the moment I don't have the capacity because of XYZ. These aren't excuses, but this is what's adding to it. So what I can do is XYZ."

I always try to find a solution to any issue or problem I have. I'd rather take accountability and come up with a plan that works for both parties. That keeps the respect, transparency, and open communication, and 100% of the time, it's always delivered well. I think that's what keeps my relationships in business and my personal life really healthy.

The last thing I'd say is always be mindful of the people around you. Be mindful of who you vent to, because when you need advice or need to vent, you need to be going to people who will lift you up in the right direction but also not be afraid to pull you up on things. That is so important for success.

As our conversation drew to a close, I found myself reflecting on what makes Maddy so extraordinary. It's not that she has it all figured out it's that she's brave enough to admit she doesn't. Her honesty about burnout, about friendships falling away, about staying up until midnight to get work done while trying to be present for her kids. It's the kind of truth that makes you feel less alone in your own struggles.

Maddy's journey reminds us that strength isn't about looking a certain way or having perfect balance. It's about discipline when motivation runs dry. It's about starting again when you fall off track. It's about being transparent with the people around you and building a life that's sustainable, even when it's messy.

As we close out this year and step into a new one, Maddy's story feels like the perfect grounding reminder: you don't need to have it all together to be making progress. You just need to keep showing up, keep communicating, keep adding those small habits, and trust that discipline not motivation. Discipline will carry you through.

This December, as you reflect on your own year, remember that it's okay if everything didn't go to plan. It's okay if you burned out, if friendships shifted, if you had to take stress leave. What matters is that you keep finding your way back to movement, back to yourself, back to the things that make you feel alive.

Movement saved Maddy from a dark place, and now she's helping others find that same light. That's the kind of legacy worth building.

Want to experience Maddy's incredible teaching for yourself? You can find her at Honey and Co [studio information] where she continues to show up, lead with heart, and prove that strength comes in all forms.

What resonated most with you from Maddy's story? How are you being kinder to yourself this December? Share your reflections in the comments. We'd love to hear what you're carrying into the new year.